is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
