This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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