I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
