If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
