At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
