Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
