dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
