do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
