tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
