Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ttyl tear gas
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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