Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
