Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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