Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
