I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
