Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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