I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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