We won't sleep together?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
this will be a night to untag.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
