Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
