You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
