Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
