Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
