Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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