but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
