I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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