having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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