he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
