Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
