her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
