some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
