Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
