either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
please don't ironically join a cult
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