You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
