Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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