I cut my penus on the lid.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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