Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
