I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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