i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
