I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
