i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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