I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
