It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
