I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
