i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
