Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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