She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
