the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
