Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
