the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
