I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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