I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think I died a long time ago.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
