i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
