i think my tv is drunk
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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