hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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